Had my Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle photoshoot today. REALLY tired! But I had loads of fun! Can't hardly wait for the Macross Frontier photoshoot in 5 Dec! XD

Can't wait for the photoshoot with sis either! XD

Just thought I'd post something before I retreat for the night...

My nights seems to end up keeping me up all the way from 11pm till 9am.
No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to sleep.
Insomnia really is gonna be my middle name soon.
My friends tell me that I probably have a lot on my mind,
but truth be told, I just can't seem to think of anything.
My mind just goes blank.
So I just sit there and stare at the ceiling like a love-sick fool waiting for Prince charming to come prancing on a white stead.
Then again I am a love-sick fool.
Even milk, water or sleeping pills won't help me get a good night's rest.
I just sit there on my bed,
staring into space waiting for something miraculous to happen.
Wonder what's wrong with me.
My shrink says I'm fine.
So does my friends.
But I think not.
My parents say I'm like an empty shell or an empty vessel whenever they come to my room trying to wake me up.

Something must be really wrong with me...

Guess what...

I fell down in the most spectacular way today... =_=

The phone was ringing and I was rushing to get the phone that I left in the kitchen earlier this morning after talking to Kashidii on the phone. SO I ran, and it was raining and the kitchen window was open so the kitchen was wet. As I ran to get the phone I slipped, did some somersault turn and landed with a split on the floor which really hurt....

It still hurts.... owww....

Hopefully I can recover from it soon...

Oh well that aside.... I have recently been addicted to watching Romeo X Juliet again. Then again I am a hopelessly romantic twisted little girl who's just looking for love. ^^

It keeps me wondering when I'll ever find my Romeo again... That is if my Romeo up there would allow it. ^^

Okay. I don't like ranting to you but seriously. I have to rant this out or else I will start snapping at people whom I don;t want to snap at.

I thought my default family (aka my parents)would at least appreciate me cooking and cleaning for them! Gods...... I try my very best to clean and cook for them and what do they say?! "Oh Cassidy's cooking than yours! Why can't you cook like her." Gods...... This is so annoying...

At least a simple "Oh the food taste alright." would be fine! For all my life I have always been doing things my parents have always wanted me to do. It really pisses me off when they compare me and say that my friends are so much better than me in a certain task I obviously am average in!

And you know what's worse! A guy confessed to me that he likes me. I'm thrilled. My parents found out about it and invited him to dinner. While they were talking to him they began comparing me to my friend Cassidy. And they also began telling him all my bad habits and all the bad things about me. And guess what... thanks to them there goes my hope of having him as my boyfriend. And he now wants me to introduce Cassidy to him! T_T

I just wanna die now.....

I was having a conversation with my friend Miharu Kuroda today about Macross Frontier. Well it was mainly about Brera and Ranka pairing. Well for starters I am an incest pairing. I support incest couples like Iku and Yoru from Boku wa imouto koi wo suru (I love my little sister) and Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len. I support Brera and Ranka though. But not as much a Alto and Ranka.

I'm not saying that I hate the Sheryl and Alto pairing. I mean sure Sheryl has more kissing scenes than Ranka with Alto but have you ever noticed Alto kissing Sheryl back or even starting the kiss first. A lot of my friend are major Sheryl and Alto fans and they even say that Ranka can never be with Alto. I don't see a reason why Ranka can't be with Alto. Ranka's just shy.

Someones when I watch a scene in Macross Frontier with Ranka and Alto I see myself in her. After a really bad experience a long time ago when I confessed my feelings to a guy I developed this mentality that it has to be the guy to confess to the girl. Even my mom told me to wait for the guy to confess to me. Man... it makes me feel as though us women don't have the rights to even say what we want.

So even in love... I myself am confused if I should tell a guy how I feel about him. What are your views on this people?

Here are the results for my top three boy toys- i mean Bishies!!!



LORD RASLER HEIOS NABRADIA!!!! (DAMN You Square Enix for making such a hot guy die after 1 cutscene!)



NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM (Aka Emo Dude XD)


VAAN (Aka Bad boy Street Rat XD)


So there you have it! My favourite boy toys- i mean Bishies! XD

Ahaha as the title states! Time to confess which Final Fantasy hottie I have been setting my eyes on!

And the Final Fantasy hottie i have been eyeing is....

Okay... it's a tie between 3 guys...

Make a guess then! Sorry no prizes for guessing who I like! *winks*

Results and pictures will be posted tomorrow nyan! ^^

Argh! It's my freaking time of the month.

And I'm still sick....

Gods....

Haven't had the appetite to stomach any kind of food because of my sickness.

My friend's been bugging me to post my cosplay plans updates here on LJ. So...here it is....

Ailyth from Valkyrie Profile: The Covenant of the Plume
Ranka Lee (Concert Outfit) from Macross Frontier
Soah from Bride of the Water God
Empress Tianzi from Code Geass
Ran Mao from Kuroshitsuji
Princess Euphemia Li Britannia from Code Geass
Rosette Christopher from Chrno Crusade
Princess Sakura (Coins Artbook Version) from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Serah Farron from Final Fantasy XIII (Tentative)
Xion from Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Penelo from Final Fantasy XII
Loki from Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok


That's all for now I guess so yeah... Hope your happy Kashidii!! XD

*sigh* I'm home... alone...

It's my church's feast day today and my church has organized some dinner and dance. My parents got free tickets and let's just say i was the unlucky one.

I bet their enjoying their nine course dinner right now while I eat stale chicken pie with grape juice. Oh well... at least I've got something to eat.

Ahhh.... So tired....

And happy for my friend....

She's finally getting married. To the man of her dreams.

I'm really happy for her. It felt as if it was only yesterday that she was the girl who would constantly come up to me and ask me for tips on how to get the guy to notice her. And now... she's getting married. In fact she never needed my advice at all. All she needed was courage to tell the guy she liked him.

I can only hope to find happiness the way she found hers...

I sear I must probably be suffering maybe from H1N1 or some terminal disease that would probably leave me dead soon anyways...

Forgive me.... I am utterly depressed that I am still sick.... urgh.....

Well for starters it's gonna be a VERY lonely night for me tomorrow.

My parents will out at my church's feast day while I'll be at home alone.

Anyways... I just wanted to share this AMV with you.

I've been somehow obsessed with Final Fantasy XII.

I don't exactly go gaga over Ashe and Basch pairing but I do support them! XD

Enjoy!!

Yikes.... I'm really sick....

I spent half my day in the sick bay sleeping and knocked out. Even my principal told me to take the next day off tomorrow. As long as I'm on medication all I need is a parent's letter according to her.

I've still got a fever. I hope it's not H1N1. T_T

Oh well I was looking through my room and I happen to find this letter given to me by Samuel some time back before he died. Just like me, Samuel was an Anime Fan. And apart from Card Captor Sakura his other favorite anime was Escaflowne. According to him he connected well to the main character Van. And when he saw me, he was somehow reminded of Hitomi. He was starting to get into cosplay then and he wanted me to be his Hitomi for his first cosplay. And he was going to be Van.

But he never got to fulfill his dream to cosplay with me.

He is one of the reason why I cosplay. He was one of the reason of why I continued to live on and go through life the way it has been made for me.

He is the reason why i live.

My fever FINALLY subsided

yays!

But now I'm down with a flu..... Argh!

I hope I don't pass my flu to anyone in school tomorrow.

Anyways I wanted to tell you something yesterday but I forgot.

Yesterday, after my dad brought me to the doctor, we both went to eat. And since I didn't have any appetite I just bought porridge and brought it home for dinner instead. Then my dad and I went to cheers to get some minor groceries. I was browsing through the magazine section. I would always buy an anime magazine, which would cause my dad to grumble and complain on how I spend too much time reading Anime Magazines instead of opening my textbook. Oh puh-leeze! Who reads their textbook.?! Apart from nerds of course.

Anyways, I saw the latest issue of Seventeen and took it from the shelf to pay. My dad had already paid for the groceries and came to see what I was buying. He asked what I was buying and I said "Magazine." Then he looked at the magazine as I dug through my wallet for a dollar. I asked my dad for a dollar and he gave it to me. I paid the cashier and took the magazine. "Latest issue?" He asked. "Yeah." I replied. Then he kept quiet.

Then when my mom came home later that evening I told her all about this and asked her. "How come whenever I buy Anime Magazines or Manga papa complains and grumbles, but how whenever I buy Seventeen Magazine he doesn't say a word?!" My mom just smiled at me and told me that she and my dad had a talk about this some time back. He was complaining about how I spend my time reading Mangas and watching animes and why I couldn't be like other girls who would fuss over hair and make-up considering the fact that I am 16 years old already.

*sigh*

Well now I know why.

And I don't buy Seventeen because of the fashion! I buy it because of the Love and Horoscope Section! XD

Oh dad! XD

I was having a chat with my sister on yahoo on Cosplay Weddings. She couldn't stand this school mate of hers who is an Asian Traditionalist and that weddings should be a sacred ceremony that should be traditional.

Well this is what I think.

I think that everyone has the right on how they want their wedding to be. Why limit yourself and be traditional all the time? A wedding is a sacred thing sure. Because it brings two people together in holy matrimony. But it's also a special day for the bride, so what's wrong about having it in cosplay? For starters I wanna get married as Princess Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca from Final Fantasy XII. (So whoever is gonna be my husband good luck to him for making Rasler armor! XD) I'm even planning to have the wedding held at a convention in America! XD (NO WAY am I EVER gonna get married in Singapore! Over my dead corpse!) For me a wedding should be held in the way the bride and the groom wants it to be.

But that's just what I think. People have got different views about weddings.

But what really ticks me off so much is the fact that Wedding Traditionalists claim that everything should be done traditionally and that cosplay weddings is a sin or should never be done. Or weddings MUST be done in a church.

Weddings aren't always about cultures and values or sanity! (Even though I don't really think there was one to begin with)

Weddings are about personal preferences and personal tastes. I'm sure you won't want someone to ruin your special day by telling you that it's wrong to have your wedding cosplay style.

In fact

You know what....

SCREW THOSE ASSHOLES WHO TELL ME WHAT AND HOW MY WEDDING SHOULD BE!!!! I AM GONNA GET MARRIED AS PRINCESS ASHELIA WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

Still sick here...

I just came back from the doctor and he gave me a 2 day MC.

My fever was 39 degrees when I went to the doctor that's why he gave me a two day MC. Looks like I'll be home tomorrow too then. *sigh*

I haven't been able to sleep properly for the past few days. Something has been bugging me but I'm not sure what. It's either those mats mats and minas downstairs my house who keep blasting the song "Insomnia" and singing it totally off key at twelve midnight (They must be tone deaf I tell you!) or my high fever. It's probably both.

According to my mom I went into hysteria and I was beginning to have hallucinations at like one in the morning yesterday. Although I don't recall any of these accounts ever happening, judging from my mother's facial expression, it must have been pretty bad.

But for some reason I'm suddenly afraid to even fall asleep or just close my eyes for a while to dream. Every time I close my eyes to sleep or dream I dream about myself drowning in the sea. And no one ever came to save me. There wasn't any air for my to breathe and I just sank deeper and deeper into the bottom of the ocean. After that dream, I would over wake up breaking into cold sweat. I have no idea what that meant but whatever it meant... it scares me a lot.

I could be a sign or it could mean something else.

Whatever it is... it must mean something.

Oh gods and goddesses....

I feel like shit now.... I thought that I could have a great day together spending time with my family but NOOOOOO my father had to wreck it all by pushing the blame from his work on me. I'm just a kid. What did I do wrong?!

Thank god this is an online journal. Because if I were to write this out suing a pen an paper... I would have probably not even have the strength to write properly.

Gods... I feel like puking now.... T_T

I have no appetite to eat a single bite of food. I forced myself to have at least 5 spoonfuls of porridge. Well at least that's better than nothing right?

Alright I don't wanna angst or emo here so yeah. Let's just talk about something else.

I've been working on my San from Princess Mononoke costume. Might be going to AFA 09' as her. Not too sure about that. This is my very first costume sewed by my very own hands! XD Really excited on how it would turn out! I'm 50% done with San's mask! I just need to finish up the paper mache and paint it! XD Will post pictures here when I am done with my mask and costume.

Well gotta go nows. Really weak and I need to lie down. I need someone to talk to too. Wonder if sis is free...

Oh yeah! I am back from school! Like awesome oh yeah! Finally my day in school ended! Oh yeah that's that! ^^

I was looking through some photos of when I was in my Christmas church play last year. And I remembered this really funny incident which happened to me.

I was chosen to play the part of Mother Mary. I was so honored by this as all the girls would have probably wanted the role of Mary! (And not to mention the guy who played Joseph was muy guapo (really handsome in spanish) XD) But it was really an honor for me to get the role! ^^

And so after months of rehersals it was finally the day of the full dress rehersals. The priest announced that I had to carry a REAL baby boy and that he would be Baby Jesus. And he was ADORABLE!!! Like a little angel! He was so cute! His name was Jeremy! XD

But this was what I didn't know....

Baby Jeremy had a tendency of groping a woman's boobs. Probably because he wanted milk. 'My' Joseph and the rest of the cast though that it would be funny to find out my reaction to that and not tell me so that I could experience this for myself! =_=""" (You are so dead meat Greg! I have not forgiven you about this yet! )

So this was how it went.

Director: Alright people! Let's take it from the top!
Cas (Singing)t: Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ was born on Christmas da-
Baby Jeremy: *gropes book and squeezes* =D
Me: OH MY GOD JESUS DON'T DO THAT!!!!! 
Baby Jeremy: =D *squeezes it more and giggles innocently*
Joseph (That is his real name too!): Yeah!!!!! *thumbs up*
All the other guys from the cast: Oh YEAH!!!!!!!
Joseph: He is one lucky baby... *nosebleeds*
All the other guys from the cast: Yeah... *nosebleeds*
All the girls: O_O
Priest: Holy mary mother of god!
Me: Pray for me... X_X

And that was how it went.... EXACTLY!
X_X
Some experience huh...

Dear Journal,
                        Hey there! Long time since I've updated! Sorry about that! Had a few rough times in school and all those crappy shit my teachers have been expecting me to give them. Sorry if my lingo is all pissed off and all, it's just that so much people expect so much from me. Anyways... I wanna talk about what I just found out about myself recently while I was working as a Flyer Girl during the one week school break.

I'm a Neverfind.

Don't know what that is? Let me explain. Well sum it all up that is.

In the world of Love there are 4 types of people that walk the planet.

Sustainers, Wanderers, Selfers and Neverfinds.

Sustainers are the ones that are able to keep their love for a lifetime.

Wanderers are the ones that fall in love a lot, but can never make it last.

Selfers are the ones that think that they are in love, when the truth is, their only in love with themselves.

and as for Neverfinds...

Neverfinds are the ones who only get to experience love once. And after that they can never find love again.

Wanderers and Selfers are really lucky because they can transform themselves into Sustainers, given enough time and effort. But Neverfinds have no hope of salvation. They are just cursed to experience love just once and to feel it as fully and as deeply as anyone... but then after months, or weeks, or days, or hours, or minutes or ever just secondsto see it snatched away from them for the rest of their lives.

I was once a Sustainer but I soon became a Neverfind...

after Samuel died.

To me Samuel was the only one I had and loved at that time. But I must have been foolish and naive. After all I was only 12 and he was 16 then. Then along came Jason. I really though that I had finally found my happiness again and that Mother Freya had blessed me with someone to love me for who I am. But...

he too left me.... but he left me for another...

I don't blame him. I don't blame him at all. Things happen for a reason. He made that decision to leave me and I can't change the fact that... that was what he probably wanted.

Then again I find myself looking in the mirror. I'm pretty at all. I'm just ordinary Plain Jane. Nothing special about me.So I guess that's why I became a Neverfind. And I'll just accept the fact that that is where I am categorized.

That is where I'm supposed to be....

That is who I probably really am....

And if the Gods and Goddesses want me to be this way...

then so be it.

Cold.... So cold.... will there ever be someone who can warm me?

-Alycia

Hi there!

              I am back!!!! Muahhaha! It's great to be back and alive on LJ! Many things I wanna do now that the mid-term exams are done! Now that I am (FINALLY) 16 I wanna let my hair down and let lose! I mean look it's not everyday I get to be all wild and all! hahas! Just thank Lord Odin I'm not one of those bimbos in school who goes fussing over their hair, make-up and manicure every 1 second! XD I've decided to make a list of things to do during the june holidays! I'll be updating it once in a while on LJ when I have got it done! Here goes....

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO DURING THE JUNE HOLIDAYS

1) Get my hair cut and highlighted like Cassadee Pope from Hey Monday before the start of the June holidays!!! (I posted two pictures of how Cassadee looks like! XD)

          

2) Have a photoshoot with my Sakura costume before it rots in my cupboard! T_T

3) Have a photoshoot with my sister Cherryvoiderz aka zaftgirl! XD

4) Finish composing my first song and find someone to help me out with the music! XD

5) Spend some time to Melody! I don't get to see her everyday especially when she lives in the other side of Singapore! XD

6) Get new make-up for my Lulu from Final Fantasy X cosplay and get he accessories done! XP

7) Get working on the Horitsuba CD English CD Drama! XD

8) Get new hairclips for my Decora outfit! XD

9) Clean my room! XP

10) Try to socialise more wih guys and get over Weibchen!!! (yes I still have some smalll feelings for him T_T)


That's all for my list I guess! Can't hardly wait for the June hols! Gotta go nows! See ya!!!

Love,
Alycia

Dear Journal,
                      Let me take this opportunity to drown you with all my feeling and mixed emotions for today. First off I ended my Social Studies exam today at 9:30AM. I went to buy some food and drinks before I made my way to the bus interchange at Hougang to bring me back. There was this old mortal auntie standing at my bus lane blocking the way. I am already very used to this so I just stood next to her to wait for the bus. She just turned to me and just said in a stern voice "Guen!!!" Which is a short and rather rude way of saying "Go away!" It literary translates "SCRAM YOU BITCH!!" Thanksfully I was rather calm so I politely backed away from the auntie not wanting to start a petty and unessary fight.


                     BUT SHE JUST WON'T STOP STARING AT ME LIKE I WAS SOME KIND OF WHORE OR BITCH THAT STOLE HERE PRECIOUS SON AWAY FROM
HER OR SOMETHING!!!!! *Insert Sephiroth's theme song with flames around me here*


*calms down* Ok now before I smash her face when i see her. Let's change the topic now shall we? *devilishly sweet smile*

Things have been pretty ok for me these says i guess. Getting ready for my audition for Singapore Idol 2009! Yay! *insert Tifa's theme song here* but at the same time I'm also stressing out about my payment of Jessica's death scythe she had to make for me! ARGH! My drawing for her got ruined! T_T *sigh* I hope I can get it done soon! I wonder if Jess can get the scythe sent to me by the very first week of July or something. *insert aerith's theme song* I hope so! After all cosfest is coming soon!

Oh wells! Gotta go now! Can't wait to talk to sis!!! And the twins are acting up again! Take cares!

Love,
Alisa <3

HAPPY COMING OF AGE SWEET 16TH BIRTHDAY TO ME~!

It's my sweet 16th today! I have been waiting for my sweet 16 for all my life! I'm so happy! I HOPE ALL MY WISHES COME TRUE!!! ^^




P.S. Yes this is me in the picture! ^^